Article by Mark Graham, Stats Nerd

Match Review
Manchester City 0 v 1 Manchester United, City of Manchester Stadium, Manchester, 12.45pm, Saturday 5th May 2007.
Goals: Manchester City: n/a    Manchester United: Ronaldo (34 pen).
Attendance: 47,244

United thanks to a Ronaldo penalty, managed to claim all three points in the Manchester Derby forcing the false Champions Chelski to win at the Emirates Stadium on Sunday or face the humiliation of forming a Guard of honour (Editor: rubs hands profusely) as the Reds did for Chelsea in the post war era .  Anything less than a victory at Arsenal's home ground will see SAF claim his 9th Premiership title & 25th Trophy of his reign & The Arse with missing personnel will want to extract some revenge on the soulless small club from West London for there defeat in the Carling Cup earlier in the Season.

The early portion of the game saw probably one of the most pathetic attempts of cowardice since the Roma hooligans wore there Scooter helmets & padding in Rome & the Police battered United fans while they were already down.  Michael "who the f*ck are you" Brown after a minor tangle with Ronaldo, then saw fit whilst Ronaldo was laying on the ground to intentionally stamp on the P.F.A. Player of the Years chest leaving stud marks in the United forwards stomach.  Referee Rob Styles vision seemed to be blocked by Paul Scholes and the thuggery as Robbo called the incident whilst working in the Sky Studio's went unpunished.

Hopefully FIFA & the Premiership will ban the sh*tbag Ball for several games, taking into account Scholes & Rooney in Amsterdam being banned, how long should Ball be banned??

City fashioned a chance of sorts shortly after the Ball/Ronaldo incident but EVDS was position in the correct place as Emile Mpenza shot at the United stickman who gathered with ease.

A Ryan Giggs corner headed on by Ronaldo almost opened the scoring for United, but the resulting header by Rio Ferdinand struck the wood work, however it wasn't long then before Ronaldo made Ball look like even more like a total pillock after stepovers bamboozled Ball in the box, Ball leaving his foot trailing tripped Ronaldo who converted the penalty with ease sending Andreas Iskasson the wrong way.

The second half saw City create the 1st chance as Mpenza headed over the bar reminding the Reds that the game was far from over, City's whole game seemed to be kick United as much as possible & try to intimidate as Nemanja Vidic required the magic sponge treatment after Paul Dickov on as a sub tackled the Serbanator from behind.

In as lifeless second period Referee Rob Styles awarded a penalty to City with only 10 minutes to go, as Wes Brown was adjudged to have fouled guess who.... Michael Ball.  On the replay it clearly showed Wes Brown backing away from the challenge, but Ball went down anyway making a mockery for not the 1st time of Old Jose down at the Bridge as a penalty was awarded against Manchester United.

"Somebody wake up Van Der Sar" then must have been the call as the Giant unemployed Dutchman woke up before sticking his leg & the proverbial two fingers up at Ball & Moanriniho after saving Darius Vassell's penalty with his legs.

Your reporters dream and millions of others is to go to Stamford Bridge as Champions to really rub it in the face of the Plastic Chelsea bandwagon hangers on, who think Chelsea were formed 3 years ago

And the guard of honour if it comes off should be made with Ignorant Jose & the Russian being made take part.

PLEASE PLEASE Arsenal make our Day.

United Starting Line-up
Player Ratings in parenthesis
Van der Sar (8); Brown (6), Ferdinand (7), Vidic (8), Heinze (7); Ronaldo (7), Scholes (7), Carrick (6), Giggs (5); Smith (5), Rooney (5).
Subs Used:  Fletcher (6) for Smith (73 mins), O'Shea (6) for Rooney (87 mins).
Subs not used: Kuszczak, Solskjaer, Richardson.

United's Man of the Match
In a game offering little going forward, United won the game defensively, little errors & a penalty save practically won the title for the Reds, Vidic after a full 90 mins looked better & was a monster hitting the bar & winning anything that came his way.

Keano16's Reaction
A poor attacking game, but these are the kind of games that the players deserve after treating us to some of the best football we have saw at the club in the earlier part of the season.

Was Our Prediction Right?
We said 2-1, United Rant 7 v 51 Wrong Predictions.

Milestones
Cristiano Ronaldo's 17th League goal of the Season, 35th career league goal & 50th goal of his United career.

Wes Brown's 250th competitive game for United.
Gabriel Heinze's 50th league game for United.
 
Miscellaneous Info
United’s next match is on Wednesday 9th May 2007 (A) to Chelski in the Premiership, 20.00pm K.O. G.M.T.